Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Randomize
