So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
