worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
