$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
