Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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