Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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