great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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