i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
