He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
