she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
