no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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