Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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