I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
