Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
