quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
