Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
