my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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