Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
