I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
