Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Randomize
