Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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