never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
When did angry sex become our thing?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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