Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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