I feel great
I just peed on a car
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
