really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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