I got her a Nickelback box set.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
