You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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