no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
