So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
