We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
