Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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