I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
