i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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