Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
