What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
