She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
