he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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