So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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