I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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