At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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