their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Terrible idea I love it
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize