Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
