forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Randomize
