I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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