I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
