GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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