Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You ruined the universe
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
