she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
