My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Is it penis luge time yet?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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