this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
