this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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